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Thursday, December 29, 2005

I shouldn't be surprised

My personal "alignment":

Chaotic Neutral "Pure Chaos" "Free Spirit"

The almost totally unpredictable non-conformist loner. Will stand by and watch the white knight battle the black knight without feeling compelled to take sides.

A chaotic neutral [person] follows his whims. He is an individualist first and last. He values his own liberty but doesn't strive to protect others' freedom. He avoids authority, resents restrictions, and challenges traditions. A chaotic neutral [person] does not intentionally disrupt organizations as part of a campaign of anarchy. To do so, he would have to be motivated either by good (and a desire to liberate others), evil (and a desire to make others suffer), or be lawful neutral. A chaotic neutral [person] may be unpredictable, but his behavior is not totally random. He is not as likely to jump off a bridge as to cross it.

Chaotic neutral is freedom from both society's restrictions and a do-gooder's zeal.

Thanks Suze.

Monday, December 26, 2005

Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose

Christians in Iraq, you're welcome.
Protected under Saddam, Christians once numbered between 600,000 and 700,000 in Iraq, but church officials say that about half have now fled, especially from the south, where militias linked to Iraq’s ruling parties have waged a three-year campaign to Islamise the country at gunpoint.

Priests have been threatened and killed, women abused in the street for not wearing veils and three months ago the entire lay leadership of Iraq’s main Anglican church were ambushed and killed.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

On the other hand

I don't know anyone who is actually insulted or offended when someone offers them a "Merry Christmas". As far as I can tell, the only ones who are getting offended are the ones who don't like to see / hear / read "Happy Holidays".

To all those who are offended by "Happy Holidays", I offer a heartfelt "Happy Buddha's Birthday" (belatedly, because it's celebrated in May). To everyone else, a Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah (or Hannukah), Happy Kwanzaa, Joyous Zeusmas, Frolicky Beelzebub-day, and a Relatively Pleasant Zarathustra-Fete.

Monday, December 19, 2005

I "Snopesed" it

... and it's not true. But I'm not gonna tell nobody.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Hey asshole

Why do you need Wal-Mart, Target, Sears, K-Mart or any other place where people shop to have the word "Christmas" instead of "Holiday" emblazoned on their cheap storefronts? Do you really forget the meaning of the holiday if retailers sometimes don't mention its name? You're greater than ninety per cent of the population of the country and you're feeling like a persecuted minority because some stores choose to include that extra few per cent?

Is your faith so fragile that having a commercial venture not explicitly say the name of your savior's birthday is that frigging insulting? Grow a thicker skin, jerkwad, and realize that the entire holiday season exists because of this stupid holiday of yours, and you are supposed to be loving and forgiving and all that other shit, so if people want to express their wishes in a way that differs from how you want it wished, then buy yourself a goddamned sign that says Merry Fucking Christmas, and shove it up your ass.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

It's not both

It's either a "tad" or a "bit". It's not a "tad bit".

Monday, December 12, 2005

The Constitution. "Just a goddamned piece of paper"

Capitol Hill Blue: Bush on the Constitution: 'It's just a goddamned piece of paper'
GOP leaders told Bush that his hardcore push to renew the more onerous provisions of the [USA Patriot Act] could further alienate conservatives still mad at the President from his botched attempt to nominate White House Counsel Harriet Miers to the Supreme Court.

“I don’t give a goddamn,” Bush retorted. “I’m the President and the Commander-in-Chief. Do it my way.”

“Mr. President,” one aide in the meeting said. “There is a valid case that the provisions in this law undermine the Constitution.”

“Stop throwing the Constitution in my face,” Bush screamed back. “It’s just a goddamned piece of paper!”

I’ve talked to three people present for the meeting that day and they all confirm that the President of the United States called the Constitution “a goddamned piece of paper.”

Ain't he cute?

Link via Karen Kwiatkowski.

Friday, December 09, 2005

To once again quote myself

In a response on Suze's blog regarding the furor over gay marriage, I said:
Marriage is the cornerstone of society? Bah and bullshit. People not killing each other over the last piece of fruit hanging from the tree is the cornerstone of society. Everything else is societal bullshit.

I rock.

Ok, not gone

just... interrupted.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Spare me your "emanations" and "penumbras"

Conservative commentators are fond of finding fault with U.S. courts, especially the Supreme Court for ruling that people have certain rights that aren't mentioned anywhere in the Constitution. They often make fun of the ruling in Griswold v. Connecticut, which mentioned that the Constitution and Bill of Rights has certain "emanations" and "penumbras" from which other rights may be deduced.

Even though these commentators claim to be faithful to a "strict constructionist reading" of the Constitution and bemoan "legislating from the bench", they are idiots one and all.

As the Future of Freedom Foundation said, far more eloquently than I can:
A common misconception among the American people is that their rights come from the Constitution. Even lawyers and judges are guilty of believing this, oftentimes suggesting that whether a right exists or not depends on whether it is listed in the Constitution. Law-enforcement agents read criminal suspects “their constitutional rights,” which leads some people to infer that the Constitution is the actual source of people’s rights.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Read the whole thing -- it's great. Then read the Ninth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution.

Business jargon mantra

I read this in an actual business plan today:
<Company X> has a flat business structure, organized around cross-functional core processes with down-sized functional units where employees are measured for end-of-process performance objectives.

Clear your mind; read that over and over; meditate upon it, and eventually your head will explode.

Good news

BLABBERMOUTH.NET - RUSH Guitarist: 'It's Time For A New Record'
RUSH guitarist Alex Lifeson told the Detroit radio station WRIF 101.1 FM that the band are preparing to begin work on a new CD. 'We're going to go in the studio early next year and start writing,' he said. 'It's time for a new record, time to move forward...we're going to hopefully finish the record by the summer, and think about hitting the road around this time next year.'

Whew, I was *really* worried

I've been holding my breath for too long.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

I don't get it

I just listened to the whole CD straight through for the first time, and while it was admittedly just one listen, I don't get why The Clash's London Calling is considered such a classic. Or why it's considered punk. Ska, sure, but punk?

I can see how they influenced Green Day, but I still don't see why this album in particular is held in such reverence.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

I'm a modern man

From George Carlin's recent HBO special, "Life Is Worth Losing":
(apologies for any copyright violations, but this is just too good)

I'm a modern man,
A man for the millennium,
Digital and smoke free.

A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist,
Politically anatomically and ecologically incorrect.

I've been uplinked and downloaded.
I've been inputted and outsourced.
I know the upside of downsizing.
I know the downside of upgrading.

I'm a high tech lowlife.
A cutting edge state-of-the-art bicoastal multitasker,
And I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond.

I'm new wave but I'm old school,
And my inner child is outward bound.

I'm a hot wired heat seeking warm hearted cool customer,
Voice activated and biodegradable.

I interface from a database,
And my database is in cyberspace,
So I'm interactive,
I'm hyperactive,
And from time-to-time,
I'm radioactive.

Behind the eight ball,
Ahead of the curve,
Riding the wave,
Dodging a bullet,
Pushing the envelope.

I'm on point,
On task,
On message,
And off drugs.
I got no need for coke and speed,
I got no urge to binge and purge.

I'm in the moment,
On the edge,
Over the top,
But under the radar.

A high concept,
Low profile,
Medium range ballistic missionary.
A street-wise smart bomb.
A top gun bottom feeder.

I wear power ties,
I tell power lies,
I take power naps,
I run victory laps.

I'm a totally ongoing bigfoot slam dunk rainmaker with a proactive outreach.
A raging workaholic.
A working ragaholic.
Out of rehab,
And in denial.

I got a personal trainer,
A personal shopper,
A personal assistant,
And a personal agenda.

You can't shut me up,
You can't dumb me down.
'Cause I'm tireless,
And I'm wireless.
I'm an alpha male on beta blockers.

I'm a non-believer and an over-achiever.
Laid back but fashion forward.

Up front,
Down home,
Low rent,
High maintenance.

Super size,
Long lasting,
High definition,
Fast acting,
Oven ready,
And built to last.

I'm a hands on,
Foot loose,
Knee jerk,
Head case.

Prematurely post traumatic,
And I have a love child who sends me hate mail.

But I'm feeling,
I'm caring,
I'm healing,
I'm sharing.
A supportive bonding nurturing primary care giver.

My output is down,
But my income is up.
I take a short position on the long bond,
And my revenue stream has its own cash flow.

I read junk mail,
I eat junk food,
I buy junk bonds,
I watch trash sports.

I'm gender specific,
Capital intensive,
User friendly,
And lactose intolerant.

I like rough sex.
I like rough sex.
I like tough love.
I use the f word in my email,
And the software on my hard drive is hard core, no soft porn.

I bought a microwave at a mini mall.
I bought a mini van in a mega store.
I eat fast food in the slow lane.

I'm toll free,
Bite sized,
Ready to wear,
And I come in all sizes.

A fully equipped,
Factory authorized,
Hospital tested,
Clinically proven,
Scientifically formulated medical miracle.

I've been pre-washed,
And I have an unlimited broadband capacity.

I'm a rude dude,
But I'm the real deal.
Lean and mean.
Cocked, locked and ready to rock.
Rough tough and hard to bluff.

I take it slow.
I go with the flow.
I ride with the tide.
I got glide in my stride.

Drivin' and movin',
Sailin' and spinnin',
Jivin' and groovin',
Wailin' and winnin'.

I don't snooze,
So I don't lose.
I keep the pedal to the metal,
And the rubber on the road.

I party hearty,
And lunch time is crunch time.

I'm hanging in,
There ain't no doubt.
And I'm hanging tough,
Over and out.