I need this! I need this right now!
If you really need an unbelievably powerful magnet, here it is (ALTG note: scroll down for it). Uses include magnetic steering of nuclear particles in homemade accelerators, magnetic beam amplifiers, etc. Beware - you must think ahead when moving this magnet. If carrying it into another room, carefully plan the route you will be taking. Computers & monitors will be affected in an entire room. Loose metallic objects and other magnets may become airborne and fly considerable distances - and at great speed - to attach themselves to this magnet. If you get caught in between the two, you can get injured. We can only ship this magnet by ground UPS - it cannot be shipped via air as it will interfere with the aircraft's navigational equipment.
I don't know why I need this, but I do.
All hail Dave Barry's blog.