Should I be upset?
Today, another co-worker came by her cube and discussed at length an evening out that they shared with a few other mutual co-workers. An evening out that I had neither been invited to nor heard about. Towards the end of their conversation, the other co-worker (not my cubicle neighbor) turned to me and said, "You really have to come with us next time." I told him, correctly, that I hadn't heard about it, and would have come if I had known.
Yes, I am bothered that he had not thought to invite me, as we are all part of the same extended business group, but I am more bothered my cubicle neighbor did not let me know. Didn't ask on the day they were all going out if I was also going, didn't indicate that it was even happening. The only possible charitable interpretation I can give to it was that, since she wasn't the organizer of this evening, she wasn't about to discuss it with anyone other than those she knew were involved. Or I could give it my standard interpretation of simply, once again, being the guy who is invisible and overlooked.
I'm hurt, but I'm not going to say anything to her unless she asks. I am likewise not going to initiate conversation with her this morning; I will wait to see when she talks with me.
I'm just as bothered by my reaction to this as I am to the situation itself. I should know better by now.
UPDATE: It finally came up for discussion, and she confirmed my generous interpretation, that since she wasn't the organizer, she didn't feel she had the right to invite anyone else. And she tried to soothe my disappointment in not being invited by saying that since I'm a "family man", people assume I wouldn't come anyway -- and she pointed out that one of the other "family men" is never invited either. But, since I've always been the guy who's not invited out with the group (as I've written about before, but don't feel like linking to here), it will always just feel like I am, once again, simply the invisible guy being overlooked.